As Mental Health Month comes to a close, I am sharing what may be an unpopular opinion: Mel Robbins is selling you a bill of goods. Robbins’ “Let Them” theory or “just set a boundary” is misleading people into thinking that walking away from discomfort is the key to wellness. Truth bomb: mental health isn’t about turning away from hard things. It’s about having the courage to stay. It means feeling negative emotions—and learning how to move through them without letting them consume you or push you into avoidance.

“Let Them” suggests we should disengage to protect ourselves, but this can lead to emotional bypassing. While it’s wise not to fight every battle, always walking away can strip us of our power and the opportunity to build resilience, deepen relationships, and self-advocate. Trauma survivors work years to develop these skills. The over-simplified message that one should just “let” abusers and bullies do what they’re going to do while you walk away is NOT trauma-informed. It is negligent and proof why these messages should be delivered by licensed professionals, not celebrities who re-package mental health principles and sell them for profit. 

Setting boundaries isn’t door shutting. It’s pausing to choose when and how to respond—not if. That means feeling pain, reflecting, or resting before returning to the conversation. Mental health comes from knowing what you’re feeling, discovering why you’re feeling it and deciding what comes next. Struggle isn’t the enemy of good mental health—it’s the path to it. When we equate mental wellness with ease, we risk avoiding growth. 

So instead of asking, “What boundary can I set?” ask: “What am I feeling, and how can I meet myself in it and move forward?” If you are still struggling, seek out a licensed mental health provider who will empower you with tools to navigate challenges rather than avoiding them. Thanks, but no thanks Mel.