When we think about anxiety, we often picture someone who is visibly worried, overwhelmed or struggling to cope. The reality is that anxiety doesn’t always present that way. Looks can be deceiving, and high functioning anxiety can sometimes look like being organized, dependable and successful on the outside while feeling anxious and overwhelmed on the inside.

High-functioning anxiety is a term often used to describe people who appear to be managing life well externally while experiencing significant worry, pressure or self-doubt internally. For many, this means getting things done, showing up for everyone and meeting responsibilities. However, within this seemingly competent person is anxiety that is eating them up. Anxiety that shows up as mental fatigue, emotional dysregulation that comes from the seemingly constant hum of juggling obligations and the mental and emotional energy to keep everything going.

High-functioning anxiety isn’t a formal diagnosis. It’s a helpful way of describing a pattern that many people recognize in themselves. Noticing this in yourself is the first step. 

What Are the Signs of High Functioning Anxiety?

You might notice that you:

• Overthink conversations or decisions long after they’re over
• Have difficulty relaxing without feeling guilty
• Put pressure on yourself to get things “right”
• Worry about disappointing people
• Say yes when you really want to say no
• Prepare excessively because you’re afraid of making a mistake
• Look calm while your mind is constantly running
• Feel exhausted from trying to stay on top of everything

One of the tricky things about high-functioning anxiety is that some of these behaviours are rewarded in our society. Being prepared, responsible, hardworking and self sacrificing can be viewed as strengths. However, behind the traits that have contributed to your success is the personal cost. 

What Can Help With High Functioning Anxiety?

• Start by noticing the pressure underneath your behaviour. Instead of asking, “What else do I need to get done?” try asking, “What am I afraid will happen if I don’t?”
• Practice letting good enough be good enough. Not every email, decision, task or conversation requires your best possible performance.
• Create small opportunities to tolerate imperfection: leave something minor until tomorrow; say no without a lengthy explanation; ask for help; let someone else take care of something for you (even if they won’t do it exactly the way you would). 

All of this means pausing to be intentional as to where you are going to put your energy. It means working through the discomfort that comes from letting go of some of the pressure you have been putting on yourself (not easy!).  It also means allowing yourself to examine what happened when you tolerated NOT doing. Chances are, the world did not stop spinning! Remember, making choices that give you breathing room and managing the feelings that come with that choice is a long game. Small changes will yield bigger results in taming your anxiety over the long run. 

Finally, make room for rest that doesn’t have to be earned. Rest isn’t a reward for finally completing everything on your list; it is a basic need!  If you wait until everything is done before allowing yourself to slow down, you may never get there. When you live your life for arriving at the destination, you miss the journey. Remember: you can be capable and still be anxious. You can be successful and still feel overwhelmed. Sometimes the goal isn’t to function better. It’s to feel better while you’re functioning.

Want to take a closer look at what may be driving your anxiety?

Download our High Functioning Anxiety Check In, a simple reflection worksheet to help you notice where pressure, perfectionism and overthinking may be showing up in your everyday life.