During the pandemic, initial days of isolation turned into weeks, then into months, and now nearly two years later, our lives have become entirely uprooted and far from the reality we once knew. Normal routines and tasks became increasingly stressful, with more demands placed on us, and the lockdowns proved it was not just our routines that became disrupted, but our relationships too.
Facing uncertainty or an upheaval of our routines can wreak havoc on our minds and it is easy to get lost in worry for the future or to play out the worst case scenarios. It’s natural to experience feelings of helplessness during these times or anytime of uncertainty.
Hope is the key trait that allows us to be resilient in the face of uncertainty. A fundamental aspect of being human is having hope, and it is a big part of the reason why we are able to achieve our goals and push through difficulties. History has demonstrated over and over again, even in situations of complete devastation, such as war, genocide, or a global pandemic, people have persevered because they had hope for a brighter future. Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh stated, “ Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.”
So how can we find hope during challenging times? The antidote is to bring awareness to our thoughts and emotions, and to try to be in the present moment. Take a moment now to reflect on how hope has helped you through a difficult time in life or even through the pandemic:
- What were your best hopes?
- What aspects or areas of your life helped you persevere (e.g., family, friendship, faith, an activity, a group, or even a purpose)
These questions will help us when we find ourselves in spaces of panic, helplessness or feelings of despair, where we may believe we lack hope and this tends to cloud our judgment. The challenge is to retrain our minds and begin to shift our perception. To shine light on areas of hope. The moment we make this shift, everything begins to change. You may remember your purpose, look forward to new challenges, and start to face life with a renewed optimism.
As humans we are able to change the way we think and perceive our world. The more you engage in a particular task, way of thinking or perceiving, the stronger the neural pathway gets. Shifting neural pathways or even creating new ones can be done and is a process called Neuroplasticity. The idea of neuroplasticity is profound as it means with conscious and mindful effort we can rewire our brain (Neuroplasticity, www.psychologytoday.com/ca/basics/neuroplasticity).
From reading blogs, self directed tools, books or attending therapy, there are many options for how we can begin to shift our perceptions, to find or identify the places of hope that already exist within our lives.
A useful approach is to use Solution Focused Strategies as it helps people shift their perceptions by identifying their strengths and to further develop their skills and coping mechanisms, even in the middle of chaos. It is a goal-directed model, focused on locating solutions using hope as a guide.
Here are some questions you can begin to ask yourself using a Solution Focused lens:
Desired outcome or goal:
- Define and envision what it would look like once your problem has been solved. How would you know a shift happened?
- Think about what you would rather be feeling or thinking, doing differently, and what others may notice to indicate a change has happened.
- Define the change or outcome with language that is positive, realistic, specific and behavioural.
- Now that you have defined your desired outcome or goal, think about what difference it would make in your life. I invite you to explore multiple aspects of your life, such as your emotional, physical health, social, financial or spiritual.
Explore your current coping skills and resources:
- What is currently working to help you manage or cope with the problem?
- Who are the significant people in your life that have helped you along the way?
- Remember: If it works, keep doing more of it!
Its about the small shifts that lead to bigger or sustainable change:
- Ask yourself first, what needs to change?
- The idea of making big changes and shifts can feel overwhelming, unattainable and scary. It might be helpful to think about a small change that you can do in the next 2-3 weeks that helps you move closer to your desired outcome.
Where are the exceptions?
- Think about past situations in which the problem was minimized or not prevalent. Explore in detail what was different. What worked before and what would be useful to keep doing?
Bringing awareness to the small changes:
- For the next 2-4 weeks, be mindful and acknowledge moments in which you are moving closer to your desired outcome. It may help to keep a journal or log. Remember, even the smallest of shifts are worth celebrating!
If you are looking for a deeper dive and 1 on 1 support in your journey, book a session with a therapist who is trained in Solution Focused Brief Therapy at Maratos Counselling and Consulting Services.
Bannink, F. (2010). 1001 solution focused questions. W.W. Norton & Company Inc.
Warner, R.E. (2013). Solution-Focused Interviewing. Applying Positive Psychology. A Manual for Practitioners. University of Toronto Press.