Day Six – Moving From the Me to We

Team Building:  Your family is a “We”.  End of story. Even when you disagree, you fight, are hurt or overwhelmed, your family has your back.  Talk about how each family member likes and needs to be supported. To borrow from John Chapman’s The Five Love Languages, learn the ways each member of your family wants and needs to feel appreciated and loved.  

• Words of affirmation: showing love through how you speak, using words of encouragement, gratitude, positive reinforcement.  How you speak to someone who needs words of affirmation can go a long way toward helping them feel appreciated. 
• Quality time: Showing love by giving someone your full attention, by making an effort to spend time doing things they love to do.  Carving out time shows you are interested and attentive. 
• Receiving gifts: Showing love through small tokens of appreciation or gifts, such as a cup of tea, some flowers, chocolate…something that shows that person you know what they like.  Making this person feel special will help them know they are in your thoughts. 
• Physical touch: Hugs and kisses, hand-holding, a back rub all go a long way for someone who needs physical touch to feel loved and appreciated
• Acts of service: Doing nice things to help the other person out such as unloading the dishwasher, putting gas in their car, taking the garbage out.  This person needs help with the overwhelm to know you care.

The biggest mistake most of us make is assuming our partners, kids, friends, etc. speak the same language as we do.  We think we are doing nice things to show we care, and they seem to fall flat. That is because we are doing what WE would like to have done for us. 

This applies to both adults and kids! Talk about what each of you needs and wants in order to feel heard, special, appreciated and loved! It is amazing how relationships can be strengthened when you speak the other person’s love language.