Ambiguous Loss- and what to do about it. Rebekah Laferriere MSW, RSW This pandemic sucks. It’s taking a toll on all of us mentally and emotionally. I’m missing my family. I’m missing tea with my mom. Missing normal playdates for my kids. The hard days feel like they roll into other hard days in hopes that we will all get through the other side. We will, but that’s not the point. We are all experiencing something called ambiguous loss
We at Maratos Counselling and Consulting Services hope you have had a safe holiday season. As we move into the New Year, you may be thinking it is time to seek out professional support. Here are a few tips and strategies to get you started on your search. Consider what type of support is feasible for you: Free Resources: We have many community resources that offer free counselling services. Those can be found here:
Feeling Overwhelmed? Anxious? Overthinking everything? Here are a few strategies to help build quality into your study time and to be more effective in your space. Use the STOP skill. When you notice you are getting caught in a cycle of overthinking, the first thing to do is to get out of the “spin cycle” and into the present moment. You will not be productive when stuck on the hamster wheel of “what if’s” and “should haves”.
You’ve made it home with your new babe. You’re adjusting to the lifestyle changes and working through the hormones and the new everyday intensity that come along with postpartum life. You’ve possibly heard of “Postpartum Depression”, “Baby Blues” and “Postpartum Anxiety”. The trouble is, none of these searches online or discussions with your friends and loved ones fit the bill of what you are experiencing. Maybe you’re feeling tired, a little sad, and worried about your new
Nobody Is Perfect. End. Of. Story. So while you’re at it, abandon perfectionism. Be kind to yourself and your family. The house will be messy, people will have to be convinced to bathe, you will eat junk, those long-standing house jobs will not get completed as quickly as you envisioned, if not at all. That’s alright. Go back to the values. I can safely guess that NOBODY came up with “Do All The Things” as their top
Recognize that this is hard. These days may seem long. Making all the lists in the world does not help the work get done, the structure implemented and the values applied. Some days will just suck. Moods, loneliness even when amongst the family, loss or reduction of connections with peers, sports, teachers, co-workers will take its toll. Recognize this and take a break. Pyjama days, Netflix marathons or extra screen time will be necessary. And that is
Prioritize humour and fun. Does your family love to laugh? I mean REALLY laugh? What makes the family laugh? “Dad” jokes? That elusive TV show or comedy that everyone can agree on? When my children were little, they had a hard time understanding why other families do not have “dance parties” in their kitchens and living rooms. The ability to be silly and “dance like nobody (except your immediate family who will laugh until they cry at mom’s